I woke up on Thursday morning in agony- my neck was in spasm and I could barely lift or turn it. More than the pain was the frustration and fear. How will I teach my classes? How can this happen to me when I teach people how to care for their bodies? Has something really bad happened to me? What is going on?! I reached out to my amazing healers and landed on the massage table of Anne-Marie Duchene who practices Hellerwork Structural Integration.
I laid down and she touched my feet. I immediately softened. She intuitively worked on my feet first and the most amazing thing was feeling my shoulder begin to release as the facia in my feet began to unravel. She eventually was up at my upper back- her hands underneath me as she 'asked' my body to let go. It felt as if I turned into a honey like consistency.
Throughout the 75 minutes the tears were flowing. I didn't know I had so much stored up. With each tear I felt a little more of my tension release. What was I crying about? It doesn't even matter! Life is so beautiful, special and I am so blessed but even when things are all going 'right' there is still heaviness everywhere - politics, death, not speaking or living your truth, fear of future, lack of control, 'Jewish guilt', the list goes on... OH, but the beauty, the love, the sun, the magic all around. It's like polar opposites being experienced simultaneously.
I left about 85% better in body and 110% better in spirit. Anne-Marie, you are truly gifted. Body, im listening. I am 1000% certain that our emotions get tied up in our bodies. You cannot just heal one alone nor does a physical pain necessarily mean you 'slept wrong'. My spirit needed attention and it knocked on my door through muscle spasms. Ok, got it!
I cancelled my clients, subbed out my classes and spent the day resting, reading, heating, rolling on massage balls, taking care of Hedy. How easy it is to forget to take care of self! I have already learned so much from this experience, I'm quite grateful for it, to be honest. We are truly complex, amazing, beautiful beings!